Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Foiled Again!

So one of my favorite parenting blogs discussed a formerly favorite hobby of mine: Eating your child's ice cream cone to "help" him or her finish it before it melts. Cone so big, child so small, parent must intervene.

However, Nadav has recently thwarted my efforts. Not with the bloodcurdling scream he emits should I venture close to his beloved ahh-tik (i.e. artik, i.e. ice cream). I mean, I can still sneak in a few stealth round-the-cone licks while he's distracted by some bird. ("Tootie shamah!" by which he really means "tuki shamah" which sort of means "Bird! There!" except "tuki" is really a toucan and we don't see many of those nibbling cone droppings outside the ice cream shop, but that's the only word for bird he seems to know. Sheesh, translating Nadav-speak is hard work.)

No, he has stopped me in my ice-cream-thieving tracks by using the ultimate anti-parent weapon: bubble gum ice cream.


Tastes like an unholy mixture of penicillin, sugar and concentrate of nastystuff. Oh, and the color. Surely neither God nor man ever intended us to eat something that resembles Barbie's convertible. And Nadav insists we top the whole frozen delight with rainbow sprinkles. Of course. Gotta make sure you get your daily serving of red dye #5.

So I sit there, watching the ice cream cone sadly drip onto his hands, shirt, shorts, shoes. Drip, drip, drip, "TOOTIE!!! SHAMAH!!!" drip, drip, smear. And there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

(I could just ... get my own cone? I need to check my Parenting Manual to make sure that's allowed, though.)

Monday, August 27, 2012

Happy September!

(In case you're confused....in my world, "August" is the month that starts when camp ends and limps to a sweaty close on the day school begins.) So happy September!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

It's STILL August

Well, the blog posts have been piling up in my head and I haven't had the time to write them down, leading to a severe case of blog-stipation, which has made me break the #1 rule of blogging, which is never allude to digestive problems when describing your writing process.

Here, in no particular order, are some of the topics On My Mind lately.

Eilat...wasn't so hot. In the temperature sense. I mean, don't get me wrong, it wasn't like you needed a light jacket at night or anything, but it didn't really feel that much hotter than Modiin. We were happy, and yet a bit disappointed, after all the hype. All in all, the trip was a success, plus we got to visit FOUR national parks on our way up and down, so we are well on our way to checking all of them off our list...

...in other vacation news, we also visited the beach, which became a very expensive trip when my prescripton sunglasses became a tribute to the wild seas of the Mediterranean; we went to Kastel, a place with terrific ruins where we played, of course, a game of Harry Potter; and we learned, through personal experience, that one really should not visit Gan Hashlosha, aka Sachna, during Eid-ul-Fitr.

... in case you were wondering, girls really are awesomer than boys. (I know most of you were not, in fact, wondering about this, since many of you either are awesome girls yourselves or are married to one and can testify to their supreme awesomeness.) But in case you needed confirmation: We (read: Ariella) were bemoaning yet another year with Annoying Boys in the class. Yaakov smiled smugly and said, "I'm lucky because I'm a boy and girls aren't annoying!"...

... another sign that I am getting old: I am losing my mem- ... hmmm? Oh, hi there!! Yes. Ahem. Anyway. So, the whole, "Why did I walk into this room again?" is become fairly routine. And I stride into the room with such purpose, such force! Only to stop short and have to retrace my steps, hoping something along the way will jog my memory as to why I was headed there in the first place. It is also becoming harder to play games with the children. Obviously, Memory is the hardest. The children regularly beat me. If I end up with 4 matches, that's good for me, and usually one of those was plain dumb luck. ("What??? That's not the other tree? Damn!") as my young opponent, waiting impatiently, gleefully swoops in and correctly matches the pair of trees. Even simple games like Go Fish are challenging. For example: I pick up a turtle (we have a new animal version from Saba and Sarah). Yay! I know that one of the children recently asked me for a turtle! But...which one was it? I can't remember! People! This should not be challenging! There are only two of them! ...

... in Harry Potter news: The children are banned from using the Unforgivable Curses on each other. Also, I told Ariella she is absolutely forbidden, under any circumstances, to use the phrase, "Bloody hell!" However, "Merlin's beard!" is completely acceptable.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Greetings from the South!

Hello! Can you hear me? We're in Eilat!

This year, we took a departure from our normal northern vacation spot to head dow-nee ocean (that's a Baltimore-ism for you out-of-towners).

Why Eilat?

Everyone told us, from personal experience, that we should not go to Eilat in the summer. So it was obvious that to be true Israelis, we need to go to Eilat in the summer and then tell other people not to do it. Check!

So far, there has been eating out, artikim and pool. (You had me at eating out.) In the hotel, the kids were fascinated by the "big mat that covers the floor." (Israeli children, meet carpeting). And Ariella's new goal in life is to order room service.

Tomorrow we head to the aquarium and ice city. We will keep you posted from Eilat, The City You Should Never Visit in the Summer but Everyone Does.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Time Travel, Revisited

The excitement is palpable here in the Rose household. Aunt Leezy From Australia is coming! (Because Donny and I both have sisters named Leezy, we need to differentiate them. When we are talking to each other, we modify it with "my Leezy" or "your Leezy." For the kids, who have never met Donny's sister, we call her Aunt Leezy from Australia. Well, Ariella has met her, but was 9 months old the last time they saw each other).

For those of you sharp-eyed readers, you probably caught on that Ariella is waaaay older than 9 months now. So this means we have not seen Aunt Leezy from Australia for a very, very long time. The last time we saw her was at her wedding in 2004. But this week, Aunt Leezy is doing a whirlwind tour of the world, visiting Baltimore and Israel. (My favorite part of the trip? Besides, you know, getting to see her? How she leaves Australia on Sunday and arrives in Baltimore that same Sunday! The International Date Line rocks!)

A certain child who wishes to remain nameless asked, "But why is she coming all by herself? Why doesn't she bring her kids?"

I tried to explain. "More expensive...blah blah blah...hard to travel with kids....quick trip....blah blah blah." But this was not computing. "So just bring the oldest kid!" (Spoken like a true first-born. If, you know, it was the first-born who said this.)

Then I remembered, "Well, Aunt Leezy's kids are starting school now. So if her kids went, they would miss school." Enter discussion of backwards seasons, now it's winter, etc. etc.

Nameless child pauses for a moment, considering this.

Then, "So it's already 2013 there?"